I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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