Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Found the puke drawer
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize