can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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