He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
