Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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