her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
