it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize