so that wasnt chicken after all
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize