While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize