sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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