I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
