Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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