So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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