Got a toothbrush?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
