the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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