I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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