i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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