FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
