y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
