My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
