did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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