Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
