Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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