Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
