i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
