oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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