so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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