Im at strip club and am horny
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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