When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
