life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
