Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
