he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
