So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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