listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
my poor anus
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