he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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