she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he thought i was a dude.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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