where am i from again
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
