I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
