If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize