we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
