Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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