he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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