In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
