You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
