There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
