just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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