can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
