you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
