Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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