is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
