i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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