Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Enjoy the penises
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
