school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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