Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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