I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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