are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
