if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I need to calm my uterus...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
