I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize