so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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