We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
